Why it is important to look after you and baby in those early days

This months blog was inspired by a facebook post I read this morning on how important is to focus on our babies rather than the up keep of the house.

I dont know why so much pressure is put on new mums to almost deliver baby and return to pre baby behaviour, when all our instincts are telling you to coccoon yourselves with your baby and just watch and respond to their every need.

Those early days and months are vital in creating the bond between you and your baby - you cannot spoil a baby by picking them up and cuddling them - by reacting to their every cry by picking them up teaches then they are safe and secure and that someone will respond to their need - evolution has designed us to pick up crying babies and designed babies to cry when they need us. Eleanor Maccoby did a great study.  She measured how long it took for mothers to respond to infant cries and followed these families for several years and she found:-

• The faster moms picked up infants, the less babies cried.
• Babies who were picked up fast grew up to be the most independent and curious toddlers.
• Competent babies know how to get people to fulfill their needs - they cry and then they smile when someone comes.
• Competent toddlers know how to explore the world - they use their loved ones as a safe base from which to explore.

Cuddling and holding your baby helps their immune system and creates a feeling of well-being, it raises the wonderful hormone of Oxytocin - the wonderful hormone which helps your cervix to ripple open during labour, help your milk come down during breastfeeding and makes you feel incredibly close to the person your cuddling whether it be your baby or partner.

Singing, stroking and rocking your baby ecourages brain development and stimulates the senses. Gentle swooshing noises, ssshhhing and rocking creates similar environments to the womb and baby feels safe. 

Not only is spending time with your baby is important but equally as important is looking after yourself is essential. You have just spent time physically and emotionally giving birth and yes as proud parents you want to show your precious baby to all your family and friends it is important you give yourself some R&R. 

Not so very long ago women used to stay in hospital for 5 days, after baby was born and visiting was restricted - there was a good reason for this to allow new mums to rest and spend time with their baby and establish breastfeeding. Now we have a culture regardless of political influences and funding, for women to leave hospital within 6 hours of having their baby - my instinct here would be if you want to leave hospital so soon why not have a home birth and create a nurturing supportive environment in which to deliver your baby.

In different cultures around the world this is how they support the new mum after birth: -

In Guatemala, a traditional midwife visits the new mom every day or 2 for up to 2 weeks after birth to check the baby's cord, massage the mother and do house work so the mother can 

Chinese women rest for 30 days after giving birth.  Female relatives or live-in helpers do the housework for the new mother. 

In the Middle East, it's the custom to rest 40 days postpartum in Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, and Palestine.  During this 40-day period, someone comes to the house or stays with the new mother to take care of the baby, the house, and the other children, so that all new mothers have to do is rest 

In Mayan Indian culture in Mexico, a new mother and infant must remain inside for 7 days and have limited contact with non-household visitors. After the first week, the mother may increase her activities. She resumes her full, normal activities only after the 20th-day sobada, a postpartum massage by a midwife, which constitutes the formal termination of the childbirth process.

We may not be able to rest for 30-40 days, wouldnt it be lovely though if you and your partner could discuss arrangements for after the birth which includes rest and relaxation, no housework and very few visitors - This is what I encourage all my Doula clients to do for a minimum of 7 days.  

Dr Bruce Lipton, pioneering cell biologist and epigeneticist says that the ONLY people it is important for a baby to bond with in the first 2 weeks are the parents.  This is because a baby is learning who it will learn from during the first few years of life.  Who's responses will it use in order to understand the world.

So put your feet up cuddle your baby and enjoy the most precious time you will have with them.